Online Parenting Class

Dear Parents,

I want to talk to you today about symbols.  A symbol is an object that has meaning attached to it, but it is also a great tool in the parent’s tool belt.

Here are some examples of important symbols you may have in your life that carry important meaning:

• a wedding ring
• refrigerator art from when your teenager was a child
• a family heirloom that was passed down to you
• a moment in time that was captured in a photograph
• an item from your childhood home that takes you back in time when you look at it

Symbols are powerful.  Today I would like to suggest that you harness the power of symbols to help pass down faith to your teenager.

Here is a 3 minute and 13 second video that helps you do that.  Just click on the link below:

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/54562229/9a4e22dcc5

This online Parenting Class is my way to encourage you as a parent.  Your job is so important, and our student ministry is cheering you on as you pass down faith to your teenager.

If you have a prayer request or if you want to talk with me about your teenager just reply to this email.  I look forward to serving your family.

Cheering you on,

Suzie Ralph 

P.S. Please feel free to forward this to any other Parents of Teenagers that you would like to encourage.

Online Parenting Class

Dear Parents,

In our last session I invited you to do a very practical exercise called REBEL and REPEAT. If you missed it, you can go here.

I would like to begin by handing you a machete.

A machete is a long knife used in the jungle to cut through thick brush and create a path.

I want to hand you a figurative machete and inspire you to start beating down a path through life for your teenager to follow.

There is no greater spiritual influence in the life of your teenager than you. 

As your teenager’s youth minister, the smartest thing I can do is to set you up to blaze a trail of spiritual heritage for your teenager to follow.

That is why I want to encourage you to live out Psalm 145:4 with your teenager.

“One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts.”

Here are 3 ways you can blaze a spiritual path for your teenager:

1. Close the old trails- You might have had a trail marked out for you by your parents that led to lots of pain. You don’t have to continue that path. You can close that trail and mark a new one for your teenager to follow.
2. Mark the trail in word and deed- Far too often we try to make a spiritual impact on our teenager through words alone. Consider adding actions to your words. This has a multiplying effect on the integrity and influence you have with your teenager.
3. Don’t force it- You can mark a beautiful path for them to follow. You can make the entrance clear. You can shine a light on it showing them where to go. But you can’t make them follow the path. That is ultimately their choice. You can’t control their faith decisions, you can only guide them.

If you haven’t checked our the Rites of Passage Experience yet, please go here to check it out. It is another simple and powerful way that you and I can work together to blaze a trail and help you pass down your faith to your teenager. Be listening to hear information about our "Hold the Rope" event coming soon. This event will be for parents and those who would like to mentor students through the Rites of Passage Experience. 

As always, please reply to this email with any questions or thoughts you may have.

Don't forget we have a Parent Update Newsletter at the CD booth. There will be a new one available each month. 

Wednesday night small groups start back up the August 21st we will meet from 7:00pm-8:30pm

Beginning August 28th the SWAP small groups time will change to 6:30pm-8:00pm 

Feel free to forward this to other parents of teenagers and have them email me if they would like to join our online parenting class.

Your partner in ministry,
Suzie Ralph 

Rebel & Repeat

Dear Parents,

It’s time again for our online class.

If you missed our last session called "Attitude Check" you can go find it here.

I am going to begin by asking you to visit your past.

One way to dynamically change your home is to have the courage to visit your own teenage experience and consider the ways you would REBEL and REPEAT.

Here is a 2 minute and 51 second video that will introduce you to this very practical exercise called REBEL and REPEAT.

http://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/52190563/a0a246a34e

Here are two questions that I would love for you to answer:

1. As you raise your teenager, what is one thing that you want to rebel against from your own teenage experience?
2. As you raise your teenager, what is one thing that you want to repeat from your own teenage experience?

If you would like to share your answers with me, I would love to hear them. Just reply to this email with your answers. Thanks for taking some time today to spend with me. I love serving your family.

Have a great day!
Suzie Ralph 

Attitude Check

Dear Parents,

Would you like to see your teenager have a better attitude?

As the leaders of the home you get to set the attitude example for your teenager to follow.

Philippians 2 displays Jesus’ example of the right attitude.

Here are 2 quick take-aways from Philippians 2 that can help change your attitude in your home this week:

1. Look to Your Own Interests - This might be a surprise to you, but your interests matter.  Philippians 2:4 it says, “look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others”  This verse assumes you will take care of yourself before you try to take care of your family.  It is not selfish to take care of yourself.  In fact it sets you up to love your family from a position of health.  It is not wise to give your teenager 100% of you, because if you do there is nothing left over.  What can you do this week to take care of yourself in a way that will make you a better parent?
   
    
2. Look to the Interest of Others - It is not wrong to take care of yourself, but it is wrong to take care of only yourself.  Once you have taken care of yourself in a healthy way than you are free to give yourself away in service.  The Midrash taught that no Hebrew, even a slave, could be commanded to wash feet.  But Jesus chose to do that in John 13 to set a standard of what love looks like.  To love is to serve. The attitude of Jesus was to serve others from a position of health.  This example is one that could revolutionize your home.

If your attitude adjusts to look more like Jesus, you might be surprised to see your teenager’s attitude follow that example.


Rewind & Flash Forward Video: http://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/50506222/14e8a4cab6

Your Biggest Fan,

Suzie 

Helping You Stay Calm When Your Teenager Isn't!

Dear Parents,

In the last session of our online parenting class we talked about Reacting vs. Responding when communicating with your teenager.  If you missed it, you can go here to check it out. 

Today, I want to continue that thought by sharing with you  a very practical tip to help you stay calm when your teenager is not calm.

It’s called the Rewind and the Flash Forward.

You can watch this short video to learn how you can try it out this week in your home.

http://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/50506222/14e8a4cab6

I hope this helps you to apply what we have been learning.  In our next session we will give ourselves an “Attitude Check”.  I am looking forward to it, and I hope you are too.

Have a great week,

Suzie Ralph 

Online Parenting Class

Dear Parents, 

It’s time again for our online parenting class. I hope you are enjoying the bite-sized parenting encouragement.

You might be wondering if you can invite other parents to join our online parenting class and the answer is “YES”! You can just reply to this email with their email address and we will get them enrolled in the class.

This month we are talking about how to RESPOND to your teenager instead of REACTING to your teenager.

If you missed last week’s online class, you can go here to find it online.

Did you do your homework from last week? Have you looked up Proverbs 15:1?

This great truth is the first thought that you can bring to your minds and hearts when your teenager opens the door of frustration in your relationship.

But for this lesson I am going to suggest to you three quick thoughts that you can go through like a checklist in your head to keep you from losing your temper:

1) Pray this short prayer first: “God give me grace in the moment”. It is impossible to maintain control of your emotion apart from the grace of God, so be willing to ask for it.

2) Ask yourself, “What can I teach them right now?” This thought will keep you focused on the greater parenting task which is teaching them the beliefs and life skills they need to become an adult.

3) Consider the context. What physical changes could be causing this behavior? What relational pressures or circumstances might be fueling your teenager’s emotional response?

Here is a 6 minute and 29 second video from a recent Parent Seminar that talks more about understanding the Physical Changes that are going on inside of your teenager. Understanding these changes can give you the context you need to RESPOND instead of REACT to their wild mood swings. Follow this link to watch the video: http://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/48888063/ff98940e88

Thanks again for being a part of this online parenting class.

My goal is to encourage you, and open the lines of communication between our church and your home. With that in mind, feel free to email me any questions or prayer requests you may have.

Have a great day,

Suzie Ralph 

To The Amazing Parents In Our Ministry!

What is the difference between Reacting and Responding?

Actually there is a huge difference. If you and I can understand that difference we can build bridges instead of walls in our relationships with teenagers.

This month’s online parenting class is focused on helping you as a parent learn some tips to “Respond” to your teenager in a healthy way.

I want to start by sharing a great example from an experienced mom of teenagers:

It was my favorite lip gloss! Burt’s Bees (the tinted one, no less) is not exactly cheap. And did I mention it was my favorite? What could she possibly have been thinking? Every sane person knows that when lip balm is left in a warm car, it tends to get soft. So what would possess her to twist it till it was all the way up and then try to push it back down into the tube? Really? Of course it split right down the middle.

This would have been the perfect time to teach my teen the difference between reacting and responding. I failed. Again. There were so many ways to do this better. I could have said anything other than “What in the world do you think you are doing? Did you even think through that?”

How am I ever going to teach my child this lesson if I can’t get it myself? Reactions are governed by emotions, while responses are governed by the ability to think through the situation. That means closing our mouths and not saying the first thing that pops into our heads, which is usually critical.

Not so easy when our teen is hurling their attitude at us with acute precision. Don’t kid yourself. They know our buttons and are not above pushing them. Over and over and over. I think they have created a fantasy league where they earn points by pushing us over the edge again and again! But how different would our relationships be with our teens if we responded rationally to their attacks instead of reacting immediately?

There is one tool that I use that is helping me learn this concept. It’s called breathing. I know, profound, right? But you would be amazed at how well this works! First, it gives you a moment to lower your blood pressure. Extra oxygen always helps. And those few precious moments it takes to breathe a few extra times may be the difference between teaching them and arguing with them. I will take teaching every time!

______________________________________________

I want to challenge all of the parents in our ministry to memorize with me a short verse to help us “breathe” when teenager’s stir up anger in us.

So, your homework for this week’s class is to look up Proverbs 15:1, memorize it, and repeat it to yourself every time your teenager tries to push your buttons. Are you with me?

As always, if you have any questions or prayer concerns please respond to this email and let me know.

Your Partner,

Suzie Ralph 

Getting Healthy

Ben and I made a choice in our lives back in mid September. We cut out gluten, dairy, and sugar for 6 weeks. After that cleansing and breaking of addictions to sugar we felt much better. We have chosen to keep most processed food out of the house. We have found some balance in our eating habits that we can live with for the rest of our lives. Read an earlier post to learn more about how we have made the changes.

Not only has our eating changed but we have both added exercise into our routine.

Another change we have made is by joining Melaleuca. This company mission is "To enhance the lives of those we touch by helping people reach their goals."

The company has helped us continue in our journey to health by providing products that are healthy for us and the environment. Products that work. Over 300 products including, household cleaning, makeup, snacks, sports nutrition, vitamins and much more.

A friend or ours who is also part of Melaleuca is giving away tough and tender wipes. I thought I would do something similar.

Share a story with me by commenting on this blog, about a struggle you've had with your health, or a story about a mess in your house, or maybe a makeup/hair crisis. OR just tell me why you want to get a free product!

I'll send you a surprise product from Melaleuca for you to try for free! Winner will be chosen on March 3rd.

Below is a picture of AFTER I cleaned up Max's vomit with Resolve Pet Oxi Advanced Carpet Stain Remover. I went through the process twice with the Resolve.

Below is the same spot in the carpet after using Melaleuca's Sol-U-Mel Stain Remover. Took the picture on a different day so the lighting is different.

Here is an older video explaining the company. The information is still accurate. The only differences are they now have more products and have more patents on their products.

http://youtu.be/pqkQFvLrR5s

Heading Back to Haiti

Please take the time to go to this link. I would appreciate your prayers and support! I will need half of the funding by mid March. I look forward to helping lead another trip this Summer and introduce people to international mission's for the first time!  Thank you for your prayers!


http://www.youcaring.com/mission-trip-fundraiser/Haiti-Mission-Trip-/42328

Part 2 of our Online Parenting Class called How To Leave a Legacy that Matters

Dear Parents,

I hope you enjoyed our last lesson. I really appreciated your responses to the email and the feedback you gave me. We are really beginning to build an online community of parents!

If you didn't get a chance to read it, I have posted our last session online. You can get it by clicking this link: 

http://suzier.blogspot.com/2013/02/online-parenting-class-how-to-leave.html

Today we are asking the question, “How do you pass down faith to your teenager?”

Let’s begin by watching this 3 minute video… http://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/43519296/a13f91ff3d

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 gives us our mission from God as parents:

“Hear O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”

I want to quickly unpack this job description for parents into 3 action steps that you can do today to begin passing down faith in your home:

1) Put it in your Heart First- “these commands…are to be on your hearts” You can’t give away what you don’t have. You can’t inspire someone else to do something unless it inspires you first. If you want your teenager to be fueled by their faith than make sure that is what is fueling you.

ACTION STEP: Consider planning a spiritual retreat for yourself. You could get away for just a few hours or you could invest a whole week in a focused time with God. It may feel selfish, but filling your own heart spiritually allows it the ability to spill over into the life of your family.

2) Infuse Faith into Everyday Life- “talk about them when you sit at home” The center of spiritual activity for your family should be your home. Many times we believe that should be the church. In God's blueprint for passing down faith He sets up parents to be the leaders and the home to be the main stage. 

ACTION STEP: Brainstorm ways you can discuss faith with your teenager daily. Practice intentional conversation about spiritual matters this week. It could be as simple as leaving your teenager a note with your favorite verse and an encouraging word. It makes a difference.

3) Use Symbols and Ceremonies to Pass Down Faith- “Tie them as symbols on your hands” If you read the Bible you will quickly see that God values symbols and ceremonies as a way of giving faith away to the next generation. The Hebrew word for “impress” in verse 7 literally means to “tattoo”. God made the hearts and minds of children and He knew that the way to “tattoo” faith on their hearts was to give them symbols they can touch and ceremonies they can experience.

ACTION STEP: What are some Christian symbols and ceremonies you can bring into your home and lead your family to experience together. Our Student Ministry has created these kinds of experiences you can do with your teenager. Go check out the Rites of Passage Experience materials we have available for you by clicking this link:

http://www.blueridgefellowship.com/#/ministries/swap-parents

God sure did give us an important job didn’t He?

The encouragement we have for you today is that you are not alone in this task.

God Himself will give you all that you need to accomplish His will as a parent.

Also, SWAP Student Ministry stands ready to partner with you in this task. This is why we started this Online Parenting Class and we are making the Rites of Passage

Experience available to your family.

I would love to hear your questions, thoughts, or continued discussion.

P.S. Feel free to forward the emails from this Online Parenting Class to any parents of teenagers that you know.

Your Partner,

Suzie Ralph 

Online Parenting Class How to Leave a Legacy

Incase you didn't get the email here it is: 

Dear Parents,

This is a BIG DAY in our ministry.

I am starting our online parenting class in this email. I hope that you will find this experience extremely helpful and informative.

Today we are going to begin by talking about your will….

Do you have a will? You know, the paper that they pull out when you die to see who gets your stuff.

The process of preparing a will is not fun. The lawyer asks you, “If you die who will you give your stuff to?” You say, “Give it to my spouse.” The lawyer quickly responds, “and if your spouse dies who will you give your stuff to?”

This goes on and on until it seems like everyone is dead and you are so frustrated you consider telling the lawyer that they can have it!

When you write a will you figure out how you are going to leave your stuff, but what about the stuff that matters most?

What values are you going to leave your teenager?

What will you teach them about what is right and wrong in this world?

What will your teenager know about faith?

Our student ministry wants to help you leave a rich inheritance to your teenager of the stuff that really matters.

That is why we want to introduce you to the Rites of Passage Experience. We are going to help you have the conversations with your teenager that matter the most.

We are going to give you the tools to infuse faith into the most import moments in life.

Here are the 7 Rites of Passage we are going to encourage you to lead your teenager through:

• 6th Grade – Preparation for Adolescence
• 7th Grade – Blessing Ceremony
• 8th Grade – Purity Weekend
• 9th Grade – Driving Contract
• 10th Grade – Money Matters
• 11th Grade – Family Tree
• 12th Grade – Manhood/Womanhood Ceremony

I want to finish today’s class by asking you to watch this 3 minute video. It explains the Rites of Passage Experience we are launching as the foundation of our Parent Ministry.

You can see it by clicking this link… https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/42874938/c9b551a865

As always please feel free to reply to this email with any questions about the Rites of Passage Experience or prayer requests.

Your Partner,

Suzie Ralph

I plan to tweet encouragement to parents at least once a week please follow me on twitter @SuzieRRalph 

--Youth Director 

Blue Ridge Fellowship

5357 Glendale Rd Woodlawn VA 24381

276-238-8800

Eating Healthy!?

Daniel Plan? 

Most of you have been following our journey that began at the end of September. 10 years ago while I was in college I learned a lot about nutrition that goes against what we are taught in the USA. When I heard about the Daniel plan it was pretty much exactly what I had heard from my nutrition professor. I was so excited because I thought maybe now is the time I will actually put my knowledge into action. I wasn't going to overhaul my eating without my husband wanting to do it too. A couple days later Ben woke up made some oatmeal and said he wanted to change.

We took 6 weeks to detox our body and fast from certain foods. We didn't eat anything with gluten, dairy, or sugar for 6 weeks! It was crazy hard at first but by the middle of it not so bad anymore.

After the 6 weeks we decided that we were going to eat a lot more healthy but, we were NOT going to ONLY eat organic whole foods for the rest of our lives. One reason we couldn't afford it. Another I like some processed foods with chemicals in them! :-)

So we choose to try and keep "healthy" foods in the house. I can't eat a whole bag of chips if I don't have a bag of chips to eat. Although we do like to eat corn chips with salsa or hummus! We buy organic when we can. Which isn't very much. We stick to whole grains, (in the house) and eat a lot more fruits and veggies. Oh and hit up the farmers market!

One example of a change for me. I used to eat white pasta every single day. For real not kidding. Now we buy whole wheat pasta. Which I can tolerate but still don't enjoy that much. And only have a couple times a month.

If you have been following me on facebook you might think that I'm a nut job being crazy strict with my eating. (I had a friend say I was coming across that way) I'm sorry if you felt I looked down on you if you ate certain things. I DON'T AT ALL. I really enjoy fast food and bamboo garden! I just don't eat it as often as I used to. I had bamboo garden last week and don't feel guilty about it one bit!

I don't even call it "cheating" if I eat something I believe to be unhealthy. If we feel like we are doing something wrong we will be more likely to binge because we will feel like we won't be able to eat it again. So we have freedom to choose. Ben and I feel a WHOLE lot better by making changes to our eating.  Most of our marriage we haven't even been able to afford some of the healthier options. I know as the demand for healthy food rises the prices will go down. So hopefully as American's start to eat healthy we can start to afford more options!

As we begin this new year trying to be healthier it is going to look different for everyone!

I've had many conversations with people at church as we talk about beginning the Daniel plan as a church. They ask me what they are "supposed" to do. I am not part of the Daniel plan ministry team. But I think they might say there is nothing that you are "supposed" to do. You get to make choices and decide what, if any, changes that you want to make to become more healthy. Drink more water, give up pop, eat more fruit and veggies, go for a walk, etc.

Each person and each family will decide for themselves how they are going to adapt or modify the Daniel plan to fit into their life.

Its not about weight loss. Ben has lost weight and I'm proud of him! I've maintained my weight. Its about being healthy. You feel so much better and have so much more energy when you make even small changes.

Grace Vs. Mercy

We always get Mercy and Grace mixed up. 

Grace is: Getting something which you have done absolutely nothing to deserve. 

Mercy is: Not getting something negative that you absolutely deserve. 

I am so thankful for both. By God's grace I have a relationship with Him & home in heaven. I have done nothing to earn or deserve it. 

I deserve Hell because I'm a sinner. But God had mercy on us and sent Jesus so we don't have to have that punishment. 

Let me help you see maybe a bit clearer. 

Lets say you were caught stealing a car. You went before the judge and instead of sentencing you to jail, he decides to award you with an all expense paid trip to Tahiti. You obviously don't deserve that trip. You deserve to go to jail or at least have a fine. However the judge gave you unmerited favor (Grace) 

Look at mercy under the same situation. You are before the judge obviously guilty. You have even admitted your guilt. This time the Judge lets you go. Instead of going to jail he gives you a 2nd chance. The judge doesn't give you the punishment you deserve he was merciful. 

Grace and Mercy aren't the same thing but I'm so thankful for BOTH of them! I pray that in 2013 I will be reminded of the grace and mercy that I've been given & I will freely extend it to others! 

2013

Wow can you believe my last post was in July of 2012? One of my goals this year is to blog a lot more. With my LD I have horrible grammar. So I hope you can continue to read through my typo's, grammar mistakes and misspellings! (That spell check doesn't catch)


I just spent a week with my husbands family in Florida. (they are my family too) I really enjoyed my time with them. Although I did wish that Florida had been a bit warmer. But who am I to complain?

Its sad to say goodbye to family.  They all live hundreds of miles from us. I've never been one to get home sick much. Yet its hard to say goodbye and not know when you will see them again. The next time you see your niece or nephew's they've grown a foot! I was excited that I got to hear my niece say her older brothers name for the first time on this trip. She would always only say Eli but while they were with us she started to say Logan too for the first time! Its rare that we would be around for a first!

I'm thankful for my church family who really are my family here in SW virginia. It will be hard if and when I begin to have children of my own. Not having my family around to help. But I know my church family here will love my kids and help us as we need it.

I was able to meet up with my cousin Dave and his family our last day in Florida New Years Eve. They are from Canada and he is in seminary living really close to Ben's grandparents.

I slept through the new year because we had to leave early in the morning. When I woke up it felt like 2013.. okay not really. Its now time to think about my goals for ministry this year, goals for life, goals for marriage etc.

Most people decide to loose weight at the first of the year. You might be aware Ben and I started eating healthier back in September. We started something called the Daniel Plan. We stuck to it through Halloween, Thanksgiving, and NOT Christmas! :-) Can you imagine passing out candy and not eating a single piece of sugar on Halloween? I know what its like!

Starting tomorrow we will detox and begin eating healthy once again. We will not eat organic, whole real food for every meal and every day of our life. But we will eat a WHOLE lot healthier than we have the first 28-30 years of our life.

I've never had to loose weight but I've had symptoms that I was unhealthy without realizing it. I never knew how bad I felt until I started to feel good.

I'm going to start exercising on a regular basis. (Which I haven't done in over 10 years)

I look forward to sharing my journey with you. My blog will not only talk about my physical health journey. There will be youth ministry, family, random thoughts that come across my head, etc. But I hope you enjoy following me through 2013. In a non stalkerish type of way. :-)